strong enough

Today, I am grateful to know I am not alone on this journey.  To know I have people I can call when all I want to do is run from consciousness and crawl back into the cold damp hole of my unconscious mind.  I am thankful for the people who help remind me that when I am feeling broken, I am growing.  That the uncomfortability is the opportunity to shake up the pieces, rearrange them, and make the whole stronger.  

I am learning how to be ok with being angry.  It’s a very uncomfortable space for me to be.  For a long time, I was afraid if I let the rage out it would consume me.  I thought it would burn all the good away.  I believed I couldn't be angry and loving at the same time.  Now, I am inviting myself to take a different point of view...the only way to keep your heart free from anger is to feel it. 

I accomplished being human today.  I felt all the feelings.  I raged against the Universe, my twin flame, myself.  I cried, a lot.  I ruminated on past tenderness, I experienced present unconditional love, I received a compassionate smile from a stranger.  I was present with what is. 

I delighted in unexpectedly stepping in a muddy puddle on a beautiful walk.  This single gross moment in an otherwise lovely experience only tarnishes the memory if I allow it.